You don't pee by yourself when you have kids. You don't do anything by yourself when you have kids. I have learned to adapt, mostly. We even have a baby gate on our bathroom doorway so I can at least have a minute without people touching me, even if I still am watched and yelled at. Recently, however, they figured out how to scale the baby gate, so even that doesn't work anymore.
Today, while I was peeing with company, Monkey, the always curious two-year-old, stuffs his head between my legs and shouts at me "Where's your peee-nis?!"
"I don't have a penis, I have a vagina. I am a girl, and girls have vaginas."
"No!" He yells back, "WHERE is your PEE-NIS??" Because, duh mommy, four fifths of our household have penises, so of course you have one too.
"Nope," I repeated, "I don't have a penis. I have a vagina. Boys have penises, girls have vaginas."
At this point I get a close up and personal inspection as he stuffs his head back in my lap.
"Oh." And then he starts to walk away, but turns back to clarify, "You have a vagina?"
"Yup, I have a vagina." I figured we had it settled and he figured it out, mommies are just different. But then he turned around again on his way out of the bathroom to inform me:
"You have a vagina. A GOLDEN vagina."
Wow.
I'm pretty special I guess.
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